Sample Essay #3
10~11 Score Range
Work informs us about people’s character. For those in the workforce, the majority of their hours are taken up by playing various work roles in society. To an extent, which roles they play and how those roles are played reveals their nature.
Assignment: Does an individual’s profession define his or her character and moral fiber?
Write an essay that expresses your point of view. Include supporting examples and analysis taken from your studies, reading, life experience, or personal observations.
Are morals victims of success? Is conscience ignored on the climb up the corporate ladder? Both classic pieces of literature and challenges encountered in careers prove that an individual’s profession molds one’s character and morality.
Many great novels contain protagonists whose senses of self are influenced by their occupations. In I Am the Cheese by Robert Cormier, David Farmer, a journalist, accidentally becomes aware of confidential government information. Therefore, he is forced to use an alias and create an entirely new identity. Without a doubt, his job causes him to betray his own integrity by keeping secrets from his son. Another well-known book that fits this idea is Animal Farm by George Orwell. The tale depicts the propagandist squealer, a complacent pig who sacrifices his morals by manipulating the truth to persuade others. Both Cormier and Orwell understand the concept that one’s job may cause one to suspend his own sense of right and wrong.
Did you know that the average model, dancer, or actor is thinner than 95% of the general population? This statistic raises the question, what will one give up for success? Many supermodels jeopardize their health to keep a size 0~2 figure. Other models become self-absorbed about their appearance. As a result of their careers, these stars demonstrate the undesirable traits of unhealthy lifestyles and selfish attitudes. Similarly, some pro athletes surrender fair play to the desire to win. The “it’s not about winning or losing, but how you play the game” attitude has been replaced by a “win at all costs” mindset. Unfortunately, the price has been honesty and good sportsmanship. Therefore, jobs present dilemmas that test one’s character.
Clearly, profession affects character and moral fiber. Not only is this proven through textual references, but it is also obvious when challenges erupt in one’s profession that test one’s personal nature carrying ethics and morality from one’s private life to one’s professional life is essential for right to triumph wrong in society.
----by Andrea B. G.
Essay strengths: This essay is interesting, insightful, and logically organized. Each body paragraph is substantial and supported by suitable, illustrative examples. The author uses engaging rhetorical questions at the opening of the essay to draw the reader in: “Are morals victims of success? Is conscience ignored on the climb up the corporate ladder?”the author also uses a catchy question as the topic sentence for the second body paragraph: Did you know that the average model, dancer, or actor is thinner than 95% of the general population?”
The writer also uses effective and fitting vocabulary, demonstrating a winning variety of good words: alias, propagandist, complacent, suspend, jeopardize, traits, erupt.
The concluding paragraph effectively reinforces the central ideas of this essay.
Essay weaknesses: Even an essay that demonstrates competency may have a couple of errors. Did you detect the error in plural/singular inconsistency in the following sentence: “Many supermodels jeopardize their health to keep size 0~2 figures.”
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