各位童鞋大家好~
长假让大家练练笔写一篇和课文相关的作文（三选一），这里收到不少同学的佳作，拿出来与大家一起分享，一起学习哦！
篇幅较多，分批上哈~ 这里是第二趴啦~！
第33课 “连锁反应”篇，第35课“伸张正义”篇请看上一篇日志：http://blog.onlycollege.com.cn/78345/viewspace-24934
还木有交给我的同学抓紧啦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
※ L33 P156 describe a similar “chain of reactions”
By Jia Jianhao
One day a man loaded with parcels (想到这个词组非常好，表达的是一个人拎着大包小包) went out and he was looking for his car. He forgot where he had parked his car, and suddenly he saw one exacting like it. (看到几乎同一辆车的表达 exactly like/the same as his own) But in fact, he mistook it for his own and his car was the one beside it.
He found his key with difficulty (用with + n. 结构表示状态) and tried to open the door, as this car wasn’t his, the key wouldn’t turn. He felt so anxious that he forced the lock and broke the key. (结果状语从句引出结局) But, at the same time, the parcels were dropped. This infuriated (想想能否用熟知的词表示呢？比如irritate, ) him and he deliberately (能反映he的心态~) broke the window of the car. Unfortunately, the owner saw him and rushed towards him. He called a policeman.
He tried to explain but he was not believed and the man was arrested. (最后两句中he的指代要清楚些哦，可以用一些词组引出结局使得文章逻辑更强，如in the end/ at last.)
文章描写了一个男子将他人车误认为自己的，想开车门却未成功，最后索性恶作剧一把的故事。描述很到位，除动词外，一些能反映男子性格的修饰词（如副词，介词词组）为句子增加亮点。句式也有变化（如宾从，结果状从）。可以进一步推敲某些词的搭配，让文章更精致~
By Zhang Jiacheng
A pity man
There was a man who wanted to take some parcels to his office. And he was going to load (好词) them in his small blue car. He went outside his house and saw a car exactly like his. Unfortunately, (小词也能成为亮点) he mistook it for his own. He found his key with difficulty for there was a parcel in his hand. A few minutes later, he began to triedtry to open the door. However, the key didn’t work. So the man infuriately broke the key and dropped the parcels to the ground. Suddenly, he saw a stone on the ground. He picked up it (pick it up 如果是代词要放在介词前) and threw it to the windows. The windows were broken into pieces.
As soon as he did this, the car’s owner saw him and rushed towards him. (as soon as 起到了承接的效果，很好) The owner shouted to him:“It’s my car. Why did you destroy it!?” He immediately called the police and the man was arrested.
At the police station, the man tried to explain that he had made a mistake and he was innocent. But the cruel fact is that no one in the police station believed him. At last, the man had to stay in the prison for two weeks. What a pity man!
给文章起的题目是a pity man (a poor man)， 内容也的确详尽地描绘了这么个可怜人如何百口莫辩被送进监狱。在恰当运用提示词的同时，还能补充合理的体现逻辑和句子间关系的词，这点希望保持！篇尾做到了点题。
By Qian Xinzhou
Let us suppose that (举例，学以致用！) a man loaded with parcels was looking for his car. He put the parcels on the ground when another man did the same thing just next to him. When he saw one exactly like his car, he hurried towards it, mistaking the man’s parcel for his own. (分词结构用得到位)
When he arrived at home, he found his key with difficulty. Trying to open the door, but he found that the key wouldn’t open. (前后两句意义转折不妨这样表达：Hard as he tried to open the door, he found that … ) While he forced the lock, he broke the key dropping the parcels on his feet. This led (drove更好些，类似drive sb. mad/crazy结构) him infuriated. He deliberately broke the window of a car. Meanwhile the owner saw him and rushed towards him. This led to an angry argument. (L33句子，好~) The owner called the police.
The man was arrested, he tried to explain all of these. However, he was not believed.
第一，二两段通过丰富的句式将整个故事清晰地表述出来。能把课文中比较实用的知识运用到自己的写作中，熟能生巧。是个好方法！大胆尝试课文中出现较多的分词结构，让文章层次更丰富。最后一句话和前文相比似乎显得有些简单。希望能再扩充些~
By Jin Xiangru
One day a man went out from a supermarket, loadinged with heavy parcels.
There were so many cars in the parking lot that it is most difficult (most=very小词取胜) for him to find his car. After looking for his car for a few minutes, he finally saw one exactly like it and mistook it for his own. He found his key with difficulty and tried to open the door.
But unfortunately the key couldn't turn, so he forced the lock harder. As a result, the key was severely broken. It made heim infuriate so that he dropped the parcels and deliberately broke the window of the car. As if this were not enough to reduce the man to tears, (引出最糟糕的情况，赞！) the owner of the car saw him and couldn't wait to rush towards him with strong anger. And what is more, the owner called a policeman. The man was arrested somehow,(somehow一词很妙) he tried to explain.
However, no one believed him.
文章完整，内容充实，尤其是一些看似可有可无的词实则能为句子起到锦上添花的作用。课文里出现的精彩句子也能学以致用慢慢变成自己的。保持这个好习惯哦！最后收尾有点仓促，可以接着写一两句主人公的心理状态~
