中考作文练习Ⅰ|2018年上海市徐汇区初三一模作文原题及解析
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VII. Writing (作文) (共20分) 牛刀小试 94. Write at least 60 words on the topic “My happy moment with ______________” 请以“______________和我的快乐时光”为题写一篇至少60词的短文。你的家人,朋友,物件或是你的某项爱好与活动曾经给你留下了幸福开心的时刻。请选取一个角度,描写你和他(它)幸福快乐的瞬间。 ( 注意:短文中不得出现考生的姓名、校名及其他相关信息,否则不予评分。标点符号不占格) The following is for reference only (以下表述仅供参考) communicate with…, share…with, learn from…, enjoy, relax 高手过招(参考范文) My Happy Moment with Summer Camp ①Whenever I see the bright and smiling faces in the picture, my happy moment with last-year summer camp will ②come to my mind. I had a 15-day summer camp for cultural exchange with students from different countries last summer vacation, ③which has left me an unforgettable memory. First, I attended rich and colorful cultural courses, ④experiencing the charming of different cultures. Moreover, we communicated and shared our own culture with each other in a pleasant atmosphere. During the summer camp, I also made a lot of new friends and we still ⑤have kept in touch with one another up to now. Above all, ⑥not only did I acquire a lot of knowledge, but also I had my horizon broadened. ⑦It is this wonderful summer camp that has brought me the happiest moment in my life. 名师把脉 作文分析:本次徐汇区的一模作文为半命题文章My happy moment with_____,开放性较强,可以填人、物,事,也可以填自己的某项爱好活动,选择范围非常广;但学生在作文时注意逻辑的清晰以及中间内容的完整性。 精彩亮点分析: 亮点一:whenever引导的让步状语从句,引出半命题的内容; 亮点二:短语亮点,come to one’s mind “浮现在我的脑海”; 亮点三:which引导的非限制性定语从句,概括了这段经历对我的意义; 亮点四:现在分词作状语; 亮点五:短语亮点,keep in touch with“与某人保持联系”; 亮点六:not only…but also放句首用倒装; 亮点七:It is….that强调句型结尾,增强语气。 |
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