托福基础写作学员习作1

贴一篇作文，来自徐汇交大基地李同学。完整版、未删节版,保持出土原样！

When I visited British, I went to the British Museum. I saw plenty of amazing paintings and magnificent art. I felt superised of the wise of the British and a sense of 敬佩 floated up. How telanted the British is ! I thought. So according to my personal experience, I suggest that people should visit museums first when they travel to new places because of the following reasons.

First of all, we can appreciate art by visiting the local museum, we can know about the history of the place we visit and the cultural legacies as well. And some museum is very famous and need to visit. Such as the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Louvre Museum and so on.

Next, we can know the custom of this country. It can help us adopt a custom from another country, follow a local custom and respect cultural differences. It is very important to do these things or you may be 排斥.

Last but not the least, we can blend in with local society by visiting museums. We can broaden horion, improve our qualities and cultivate our sense of aesthetics. It can promote economic development because lots of people pay money for the tickets. And it can improve our interpersonal relationship by talking with other people who also interested in the museum. We can also use it as an outlet of daily pressure and relax yourself, let you fill with aesthetics. Therefore, I think visit the local museum where you visit first is very important. and it also can help you enlarge your sight and make friends with the local people. Besides, you must feel interested, excited and amazed when you visit the museum there. And it is helpful to your future. How helpful it is!

(297 words) 黄色高亮部分是生动鲜活的地道表达，跟李同学之前的作文相比，让我有点吃惊，为她的进步高兴。

下面是在尽量保留原意的基础上修改后的版本：

Last July, when visited Britain, I went to the British Museum, where I saw plenty of amazing paintings and other magnificent artworks. I felt overwhelmed by the ingenuity of the British and a sense of admiration floated up. How talented the British are!Accordingly,drawing from my personal experience, I contend that people are supposed to  put museums on the top of their schedule when arriving in new cities or countries for the sake of the following reasons.

First of all, we can appreciate art by visiting the local museum; we get acquainted with the thorough history of the place we visit and the cultural legacies as well. And some museums, including the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Louvre Museum, etc., are just too renowned to be ignored and deserve to rank first on our priority list.

Next, we may get familiar with the custom of this country there before encountering the cultural shock. Museums help us adopt the custom of alien land, follow a local social norm and respect cultural differences. It is very essential to do these things. Otherwise, you may be in big trouble.

Last but not  least, we can blend in with local society by visiting museums. It enables us to hone our interpersonal skills and find our soul mate by talking with other people who are also interested in the paintings of Picasso, in the sculpture of Rodin or even the Dark Ages of Medieval Europe. Thanks to museums, we can broaden our outlook, upgrade our taste and cultivate our sense of aesthetics. Moreover, they serve as the best harbor to calm our nerves and restore our soul, that is, an outlet of daily stress. Plus, the revenue deriving from tickets and sponsorship contributes to the  local economy. 

Therefore, I hold that visiting the local museum during travel is very advisable, as it help you enlarge our sight and make friends with the local people. Visitors must feel interested, excited and amazed when visiting the marvelous museum there. How desirable museums are!

(338 words) 理由的展开可以再详细一些，写前最好花时间列好提纲再动笔。

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